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Thursday, May 6, 2010


I'm so sad about the lacrosse player that died at the hands of her abusive boyfriend. I hurt for her, her family and her friends. I'm so saddened by the fact that the signs were there and no one knew what to do. And now they can't do anything. And I'm angry that he was allowed to be so out of control.

I think stories like this hit me extra hard because I was in an abusive relationship in college. Now, because of that, I am super passionate about educating young girls about the signs of unhealthy relationships and showing them how to get out of those relationships. I am so thankful for the friends and family I had surrounding me during that time that pulled me out of that relationship, and I want to give the girls I teach as much info as I can about abusive, unhealthy people so that they won't get into those situations. Abusive, controlling people are so manipulative and controlling that a lot of times, the girls in relationships with them don't see what's going on until it's too late, unless they've been educated to see the signs beforehand. And I think as a high school educator that's something I should be teaching my kids.

Tomorrow and next week in my Peer Assistants class we're going to be talking about the signs of an unhealthy relationship and how you know when someone is being controlling and manipulative, and how you safely get out of that relationship. I sincerely hope to save them from any future pain or trauma of any relationship of that kind. To conclude our lesson we're watching the movie Enough. 

This is seriously one of the most empowering movies for women I have ever seen. When I was in that relationship in college, one of my friends took me to her apartment, sat me down and made me watch this. She did a lot that year to keep me safe. (She later keyed that guy's car.) I love you, sweet friend. God put a lot of key people in my life, family and girlfriends, to probably literally keep me alive and sane. Thank you Lord and thank you to those very special and patient people.

So I think what really is the hardest thing about those news stories like Yeardley Love is, she could have been ok. She could have gotten out of that relationship and recovered and gone on to marry an amazing man. That's what really sucks and makes me want to throw up. I know I don't know her, but I hurt to know the pain of being with someone like that and knowing it could have turned out differently and it turned out like this.
I can't stop thinking about that.

And it reminds me of how broken and fragile I used to be and in what a dangerous place I was. Things could have turned out a lot differently for me. I am overwhelmed and overflowing with thankfulness as I look around me and feel safe, happy, in love, with a great husband, great job, great family and great friends. My life didn't look this way 8 years ago. People say God doesn't do miracles like He used to. I totally disagree. If I could show you a snapshot of my life at this time in 2003 compared to now, you'd believe me.

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